Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We're too hungover to prance.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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