Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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