i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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