Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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