The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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