Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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