Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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