This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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