I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
