How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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