I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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