would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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