Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
