I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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