i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my poor anus
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
