She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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