Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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