i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
