We got so high we made milksteak
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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