Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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