I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They took my balls.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
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