Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
