i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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