i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
