No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
