oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize