who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize