My first STD was from a foam party
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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