If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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