We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
