He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
