I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize