i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
