I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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