i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
