After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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