There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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