I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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