i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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