I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
