She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
