Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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