They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Brb crying the tears of my youth
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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