South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.