Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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  (310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling

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  (651): But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling http://tfl.nu/6n5a
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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  (541): I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him. http://tfl.nu/i7hv
  Replies (32) Good night (912) Bad night (4927) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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  (813): just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat http://tfl.nu/dslu
  Replies (36) Good night (546) Bad night (4650) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Ketchup is God's man juice

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  (720): Ketchup is God's man juice http://tfl.nu/p9oo
  Replies (43) Good night (2666) Bad night (1362) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day

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  (202): i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day http://tfl.nu/prhf
  Replies (18) Good night (6300) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.

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  (631): i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee. http://tfl.nu/3r9a
  Replies (16) Good night (4884) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it

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  (443): but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it http://tfl.nu/n2yq
  Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (3744) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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  (540): Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/bbcr
  Replies (9) Good night (4467) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids

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  (773): halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids http://tfl.nu/g564
  Replies (19) Good night (4221) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"

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  (613): Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night" http://tfl.nu/ts7x
  Replies (14) Good night (2422) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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  (760): I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore http://tfl.nu/3q10
  Replies (7) Good night (536) Bad night (1336) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?

  (707): View more from California

  ...did you eat that brownie?

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  (423): Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic? (707): ...did you eat that brownie? http://tfl.nu/j241
  Replies (2) Good night (2191) Bad night (377)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!

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  (618): Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!! http://tfl.nu/jiww
  Replies (11) Good night (1658) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.

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  (780): I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities. http://tfl.nu/3c8w
  Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt

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