What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference