just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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