Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
