I need help removing her.
i was born a porn star she said
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
