You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
