Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
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My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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