This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
...so i touched it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
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she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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