Well douche your snatch and let's go!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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