Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
