I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
