I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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