im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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